We'Ve Got Winter
0 comment Tuesday, July 1, 2014 |
It does look rather official now, innit?
The black rose outside is covered in frost, as is everything else out there right now. I managed to hobble outside to gather up some more windfall apples as I was feeling like a crumble this weekend, but it really depends on my energy levels at the moment, which aren't stellar.
I am blissfully, gratefully surprised that ex put up a lot less resistance than I thought with regard to sproggo swapping schools. He isn't happy about it but he's been talking to the school as much as I have done, and I also checked in with the childminder - the truth of the matter is child has regressed; it can happen, as I've witnessed it before with him. His empathy has gone down several notches, and he's back to where he was when we had the rather intense lesson about hurting plants when he was four. I am however really wracking my already addled brains at the moment to try and figure out how to deal with the latest issue, and the school and childminder are currently both in "survive till we move the Wump to a new school" mode; the childminder is brilliant but my son is starting to get violent towards her daughter, and I can certainly understand that she wouldn't want to continue with things.
We have a meeting in a few weeks' at the school with as many of the emergency SEN group as we can put together. I'm also wanting to call in today to get one of the main team members on board to see if we can speed things up, but the school has definitely said they want the Wump moved out of their school, and they are keeping very detailed logs of his behaviour, which honestly has been atrocious.
He's praying for snow at the moment and whilst I wince at the cancelled school days, especially with my own stuff going on at the moment, I'm sure he could do with some extended wumping outside in snow, and love it.
As for myself...yes, well, to be honest at this point I'll be glad when they've the guts to say the word, rather than tiptoe round it much like they did with child's autism. They don't like to mis-diagnose this sort of thing, of course, but personally, I'd rather just have it said, and be done. At the moment, the noises being made are in the direction of lupus. Yes, it's potentially quite devastating (how the hells can I garden when I can't be in the sun?!), but at the same time, and I know this isn't very charitable of me, all I can think is "thank gods, a disease, not a syndrome, now they won't think I'm just a mental case." It's awful, but it's true. The messed up thing is I'm not the only one who goes through that sort of sense of bitter relief; apparently it's common, when the pieces finally fall together and people stop making mere sympathetic noises or blaming allergies or poor diets without bothering to test for either.
Still, no one is saying the word yet - but all the questions steer in that direction and that my GP wants to discuss symptoms with the rheumatologist sounds as if the decision will be made. In the interim, I have to sit tight and just hope they realise that I won't faint in coils. I'd rather just know; then we can figure out how to deal with it. The truth of the matter is, the longer they dither, the more damage will be done to my system, and I can't risk that. I'm currently housebound as it is and having to discuss with ex the Worst Case Scenario of him having to take over parenting duty if I get worse. As it stands I rarely leave the house now, and I keep cancelling appointments to hospital for sproggo's OT meetings because I just don't have the energy to get him there and back right now. If they want to make their observations they're best off going to child's school, there's certainly enough documentation being made at the moment! I have to be careful with the energy I have and dole it out so I can make it a little bit longer. I've got a rather irritating cold, I'm still healing from infection and in a few weeks' time child will be off on Xmess holiday. Now is NOT the time to burn reserves but to build them up if I can.
Still, things are not all bad - progress is being made! And to make it really happy, after all the heating and gas bill fiasco earlier this year, I was overpaying considerably due to overestimations on the bill; but rather over than under so I carried on. The perk however is I've just received my debit cheque from British Gas which is weighing in at �240. That's Xmess sorted then! I'm more than a little chuffed as I was starting to panic a bit - of course sprog expects presents and fun, but I was looking at the holes in his clothes which were too big to repair, his worn out shoes, and so forth. What kid wants practicality on a holiday? So now I can instead manage to get a few not-entirely-practical-although-it's-stealth-practical stuff instead. And I may even have a bit leftover for myself, which would be a novel change. Also a perk that even with the increase in charges next year, my bills are about to be cut roughly in half, even with the cold winter (and the incredibly stupid outdoor heater thing). I'm being very frugal with heating, although I'm also aware that I need to now take more care with the cold - contrary to what I've been thinking, fingernails turning blue is NOT normal for most folks when one's hands get cold!
Meanwhile, kittens are growing fast and have settled in rather nicely, bringing out the inner kitten in Old Man Morgan, who has even been tempted to play with the wee ones. He's now been transitioned to a mostly indoor cat, which wasn't difficult - he's got a touch of arthritis, I think, and the cold isn't suiting him these days. As he put on way too much weight in the fall, he's currently on diet food, but it's the best I could afford, with plenty of fish oil to try and help his joint pain a bit.
The furry things keep me company most the day and I've piled another blanket onto the daybed, which is where I write in the day. I can look outside without having to be out in it, and I guess if things are going that way, I'll need to be careful about being in the sun from now on, even now with December looming. So much for getting a SAD light - hum, what do you do if you have SAD but are allergic to UV is what I want to know!
Now a bit of coffee, then I need to think about breakfast: tests showing I'm possibly anaemic and I doubt that will shift without some tablets, methinks, but it's still not an excuse to skip eating meals. I admit I haven't had energy to cook and there's been a lot of takeaway going on, which usually doesn't benefit me, so I'm hoping I can get back to making proper food soon. Then writing, writing, writing. I'm trying to stay busy and finish my manuscript in anticipation of all those folks who will have new Kindles and so forth after Xmess. I want at least the first of my works out by then, and then we'll see what happens after that.
Time to shift it, then.

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