Homeschool By Necessity
0 comment Wednesday, June 11, 2014 |
I got a call (again) from the school as my son (again) went off on one. This time, he apparently put his hands round a student's neck and tried to throttle her. Whether he was acting out something he had seen on telly or playing a "game" or was decidedly angry, I don't know. But enough is enough.
My son's behaviour at school has become more and more violent of late; every week I get new reports of him ripping something apart or assaulting someone. I have been trying to voice my concerns to all and sundry but have been getting the usual reassurances. However, they called my ex the last time sproggo went off the reservation and even he was rather alarmed as he had to talk to child on the phone to try and calm him down - he said he didn't recognise his son's voice. He felt as if he was talking to someone else, and whether that means there's something else going on rather than autism I don't know and right now I don't really give a toss.
I don't see the point of continuously putting him into a stressful situation, and therefore I'll be taking him out of school by the end of next week. Yes, I know how much work that will be; I also know I'm going to get zero help doing it. I have voiced doing it before and everyone, from his father to his social worker told me I "couldn't possibly" as my health is so poor. But since none of these people seem willing to do anything to help either, I think their opinions are rather moot. If everyone is just going to stand about and wait until my son puts someone in hospital or gets beaten to a pulp because a Year 6 boy found out he assaulted his little sister, then I'm going to have to do something. And taking child out of school until they can get an appropriate placement seems the only option; I'm sure this is viewed as merely a choice, and proof that I have made a miraculous recovery in strength and health to even consider it. Nothing could be further from the truth; my son is drowning and I vowed early on if I ever saw it happening in school, I would save him.
The school hasn't done anything along the lines of the measures which both I and my ex gave advice upon - the room which originally was a time-out room (read 'prison') was then moved into being what I thought was a decorated chill-out room, as we've both been saying needs to happen. Well, turns out not to be the case; they've turned it instead into a smaller learning room for him to go into if the mainstream room proves too much (which of course it always does). Therefore, he now has NO designated chill-out space; and they wonder why he freaks out.
There's no extra chill time to transition him on Mondays (when the worst of the problems tends to be), no time allocated to allow him to burn off steam, no added interest in art or music or things he finds enjoyable as it doesn't fit the National Curriculum offerings. And so, slowly but surely, sprog is going mad. He's lost all interest in pretty much everything - no lego, no painting, no modelling, no even going outside. He tends to want to sit at home, watching videos or running back and forth in his room, shouting and calling to whatever movie is playing out in his head. He's withdrawn and barely interacts with me at all.
He's had enough. And so have I.
No, it will not be easy; summer break is finite and even that is a very long stretch of time for me to get through, and I have no idea how long I'll be able to do the homeschool thing. There will be no respite, no assistance from the council, and very little guidance other than a bunch of people telling me I'm making a stupid decision. I am not looking forward to it; I will be exhausted, and on top of the homeschooling I will have to keep working - I have little choice unless we want to be homeless on top of everything else. I'm now thanking the stars for that extra cash as I now have to invest in teaching aids and plan for transportation costs, coordinate with the childminder at least till this summer so I can at the very least have a few hours a day to work in peace, get the cleaner in (I will have NO time to clean at all) and somehow dredge up the ability to hobble my way from activity to activity. I've got groups to join and the LEA to contact in order to keep pushing for a special school placement - and if that doesn't work, tribunal.
I've been awake since 2am trying to figure out how to rework sproggo's room so it can become a learning space, yet still allow him to run back and forth as it's obviously something he needs to do right now just to burn off his frustration. I hope that eventually goes, or we can channel it outdoors when the neighbour kids are out at school themselves. I've been trying to figure out where he might be in science, in English, whether he's doing foreign languages (he asked me how to say certain words in Spanish and I remembered, but only just - and why shouldn't he start working in a language of some sort?). Assessing math is difficult as I suck at maths - that would be my ex's field of expertise if I could get the man to show a vested interest in teaching his son, but I won't hold my breath.
It's 5:30 now, and soon sproggo will be up and demanding breakfast, repetitively asking for fudge even though I've told him it won't happen till the evening, trying to assess what movie I can allow him to watch and whether it's safe to leave him here watching it quietly on his own so I can sleep upstairs or whether I should just keep myself awake as best I can. I've his room to clean and re-arrange, things I'll have to order and read up on. And I've got to get some work done later tonight.
And so it will have to go, for now.

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