0 comment Wednesday, September 10, 2014 | admin
I managed to get linked this book from the Disabled Parents group in the UK, and while some people have said it isn't "positive" enough, I've been reading it to sprog. It's sort of a downer read but I like the way it deals with the reality of what a drag it is to constantly feel like hell, and how it makes the mum feel to have to say "I can't" all the time. It's important my son knows that I don't play with him as much as I'd like because I just...can't. It doesn't mean I don't love him.
Today I also explained about "choosing" (in a way which is akin to the spoons theory). Being a child with autism, sprog doesn't like the idea that he can't do everything he wants to do at the same time. He has learned about "choosing" at school - and I was able to explain to him that if he chooses to do one thing, it means he doesn't get to do the other thing. He struggles a lot with this out of fear of making the "wrong" choice, but he's getting better with it. However, he also understands the dilemma. This was good, as today - since ex has backed out on having sprog over this weekend - I realised in my current Languished state I had to get sprog something to occupy him. Since I've now got Carer's Allowance (not DLA, long stupid story but it's being sorted) I can spare a bit of cash per week, and this week I decided it was Lego-time.
I was also aware I was barely moving today was proving difficult. Sprog has been pretty good most the week with a few blowouts, but he's settling now and we're finding things to do. However I've burned more energy than I had and today I was barely capable of standing upright for longer than ten minutes at a time. If I went into town with sproggo, it meant the rest of the day was a write-off. That meant no making tea, not even sure how to get into town and back as I didn't think I could deal with the bus today.
So, I had to explain to sprog that "just like Mummy Mouse" I was poorly and sprog would have to be a nurse today and take care of mummy. We took the cab into down and back (quadrupling the cost of getting into town and back but it was worth it for a quick trip without distraction), we got the Lego sprog selected (a huge Star Wars thing which I knew he'd put together in a few hours but such is the Lego-Fu of the Sprog), some obligatory cheese straws and some flapjacks. All the while, sprog gave me his elbow like a wee gentleman and walked with me, telling everyone proudly he was taking care of mummy today because mummy was poorly. It was sweet and yet I had to hammer down a case of the guilts for making an autistic 6-year-old act like a carer - but at the same time, it kept him close, kept him from running away and that was a good thing. Sprog loves feeling responsible and thankfully, on the one day I really didn't need him flipping out on me, it worked.
I've managed to sleep intermittently while sprog assembled Lego, watched a few movies, and ate the pizza I ordered as I realised there was no chance I was going to be cooking today. He was good as gold and stayed quiet and attentive and I told him repeatedly how proud of him I was, and am.
The sandpit container arrived - it's HUGE! Now it just needs sand in it :) The weather outside is definitely taking a turn for the worse so I really hope it gets warmer and clearer so he has a chance to play in it before autumn hits. But it seems the autumns are coming sooner and sooner each year. The leaves are changing already on the sumac outside, and it's only just August. The squash plants may not make it, which is a shame as the fruits are only just starting to swell. Still, I've zipped up the growhouses and try and milk the very last warmth out to give my peppers and toms one last flush. I now have enough peppers to start drying them now, so I'll be saving and drying seeds and roasting a pan of peppers tomorrow. I like to have a goodly amount of the things as it requires the oven to be on a lot and I hate the electricity waste, but the weather has become too cold and too damp much too soon to dry any of the peppers outside.
Keeping occupied during the winter months is something I'm turning my attention to, but I've managed to get the appeal for special support via after-school activities for sproggo, and so he'll hopefully be doing Scouts and swimming this year, and I'll think about adding something else to this at some point. Sewing stuff (once I sort out a shipping issue) will also figure in, and hopefully once I get a bit more help round the house I can start baking and cooking again. Hope springs eternal.
I can't always play, but I make the best of the waking hours.
Today I also explained about "choosing" (in a way which is akin to the spoons theory). Being a child with autism, sprog doesn't like the idea that he can't do everything he wants to do at the same time. He has learned about "choosing" at school - and I was able to explain to him that if he chooses to do one thing, it means he doesn't get to do the other thing. He struggles a lot with this out of fear of making the "wrong" choice, but he's getting better with it. However, he also understands the dilemma. This was good, as today - since ex has backed out on having sprog over this weekend - I realised in my current Languished state I had to get sprog something to occupy him. Since I've now got Carer's Allowance (not DLA, long stupid story but it's being sorted) I can spare a bit of cash per week, and this week I decided it was Lego-time.
I was also aware I was barely moving today was proving difficult. Sprog has been pretty good most the week with a few blowouts, but he's settling now and we're finding things to do. However I've burned more energy than I had and today I was barely capable of standing upright for longer than ten minutes at a time. If I went into town with sproggo, it meant the rest of the day was a write-off. That meant no making tea, not even sure how to get into town and back as I didn't think I could deal with the bus today.
So, I had to explain to sprog that "just like Mummy Mouse" I was poorly and sprog would have to be a nurse today and take care of mummy. We took the cab into down and back (quadrupling the cost of getting into town and back but it was worth it for a quick trip without distraction), we got the Lego sprog selected (a huge Star Wars thing which I knew he'd put together in a few hours but such is the Lego-Fu of the Sprog), some obligatory cheese straws and some flapjacks. All the while, sprog gave me his elbow like a wee gentleman and walked with me, telling everyone proudly he was taking care of mummy today because mummy was poorly. It was sweet and yet I had to hammer down a case of the guilts for making an autistic 6-year-old act like a carer - but at the same time, it kept him close, kept him from running away and that was a good thing. Sprog loves feeling responsible and thankfully, on the one day I really didn't need him flipping out on me, it worked.
I've managed to sleep intermittently while sprog assembled Lego, watched a few movies, and ate the pizza I ordered as I realised there was no chance I was going to be cooking today. He was good as gold and stayed quiet and attentive and I told him repeatedly how proud of him I was, and am.
The sandpit container arrived - it's HUGE! Now it just needs sand in it :) The weather outside is definitely taking a turn for the worse so I really hope it gets warmer and clearer so he has a chance to play in it before autumn hits. But it seems the autumns are coming sooner and sooner each year. The leaves are changing already on the sumac outside, and it's only just August. The squash plants may not make it, which is a shame as the fruits are only just starting to swell. Still, I've zipped up the growhouses and try and milk the very last warmth out to give my peppers and toms one last flush. I now have enough peppers to start drying them now, so I'll be saving and drying seeds and roasting a pan of peppers tomorrow. I like to have a goodly amount of the things as it requires the oven to be on a lot and I hate the electricity waste, but the weather has become too cold and too damp much too soon to dry any of the peppers outside.
Keeping occupied during the winter months is something I'm turning my attention to, but I've managed to get the appeal for special support via after-school activities for sproggo, and so he'll hopefully be doing Scouts and swimming this year, and I'll think about adding something else to this at some point. Sewing stuff (once I sort out a shipping issue) will also figure in, and hopefully once I get a bit more help round the house I can start baking and cooking again. Hope springs eternal.
I can't always play, but I make the best of the waking hours.
Labels: Languishment, Sprog